Tasty Book Tours: Adventures with Max and Louise by Ellyn Oaksmith Interview
Tasty Book Tours: Adventures with Max and Louise by Ellyn Oaksmith Interview
Adventures with Max and Louise by
Ellyn Oaksmith
Published
February 12th 2013
by Avon Impulse
(first published February 5th 2013)
ebook, 100 pages
Book
Description
Description
This novel was originally published as an e-book in 2011 under the title Knockers.
If you like Sophie Kinsella, Meg Cabot, and Liza Palmer, you’ll love Ellyn Oaksmith!
Molly
Gallagher does not like to be the center of attention. As the
mysterious Diner X, her pseudonym for a restaurant review column, she
thrives on blending in. But before you can say “medical malpractice,”
she wakes up from a routine procedure to find that her chart got
switched with someone else’s, and now her A cup runneth over.
Suddenly,
unassuming Molly is turning heads wherever she goes. The man she’s been
pining for since high school is sitting up and taking notice, a very
handsome stranger has captured her attention, and her lifelong dream of
publishing a cookbook is about to come true. But Molly feels like an
imposter. Will some advice from a very strange place help her figure out how to navigate her new, full-figured world?
Molly realizes her revamped shape might change her life. She just doesn’t anticipate quite how much . . .
Excerpt
“Here
we go,” says the anesthesiologist. Poking the needle into my arm,
he withdraws a tiny bit of blood into the clear drug he’s about to
shoot into my vein. Red blood blooms in the benzodiazepine. I squeeze
Angeli’s hand, grateful to have an ally in the room. She squeezes
back hard, too hard. From the bed where I rest, prone in my unisex
surgery gown, I can see that Angeli’s brown eyes are scary huge,
like melting chocolates. She stares at the needle, transfixed, her
lush coffee-colored skin
now ashy pale. She clasps my hand until my fingers tingle. I want to
say something about my hand being strangled, but the drug is taking
effect. My brain floats three feet above, watching Angeli wobble
unsteadily. Her skin fades further to a weird hue, lips purplish
white. I haven’t seen her this shade since high school, when we
drank all my dad’s Crown Royal and threw up on my mom’s prize
Tropicana rosebushes. She’s going to faint.
we go,” says the anesthesiologist. Poking the needle into my arm,
he withdraws a tiny bit of blood into the clear drug he’s about to
shoot into my vein. Red blood blooms in the benzodiazepine. I squeeze
Angeli’s hand, grateful to have an ally in the room. She squeezes
back hard, too hard. From the bed where I rest, prone in my unisex
surgery gown, I can see that Angeli’s brown eyes are scary huge,
like melting chocolates. She stares at the needle, transfixed, her
lush coffee-colored skin
now ashy pale. She clasps my hand until my fingers tingle. I want to
say something about my hand being strangled, but the drug is taking
effect. My brain floats three feet above, watching Angeli wobble
unsteadily. Her skin fades further to a weird hue, lips purplish
white. I haven’t seen her this shade since high school, when we
drank all my dad’s Crown Royal and threw up on my mom’s prize
Tropicana rosebushes. She’s going to faint.
In the
back of my drug-addled
brain there is a tug of remembrance, a creeping sense of doom. Why
did Angeli quit medical school? Because she was tired of her doctor
parents pushing their profession, their immigrant drive, their Indian
lives down her thoroughly Americanized throat. That was it, right?
Then I remember: she quit because she fainted at the sight of blood.
back of my drug-addled
brain there is a tug of remembrance, a creeping sense of doom. Why
did Angeli quit medical school? Because she was tired of her doctor
parents pushing their profession, their immigrant drive, their Indian
lives down her thoroughly Americanized throat. That was it, right?
Then I remember: she quit because she fainted at the sight of blood.
“You’re
squeezing my hand too hard,” I squeal.
squeezing my hand too hard,” I squeal.
This
isn’t happening. I’m shot full of drugs, going down faster than
the Hindenburg, and my best friend, the person who is supposed to
drive me, tend me, and take the helm while I am out of commission, is
teetering like a drunk. My lips numb Lovely soft fuzz fills my brain.
I remember some comedian’s quip about why so many people become
drug addicts: because drugs are fun. I give Angeli a squishy smile,
trying to form a sentence in my soggy brain, something about how
she’d better not faint because I need her to look after me. Then
Angeli disappears from view. One minute she’s there, and the next,
nothing but wall space and a dull thud.
isn’t happening. I’m shot full of drugs, going down faster than
the Hindenburg, and my best friend, the person who is supposed to
drive me, tend me, and take the helm while I am out of commission, is
teetering like a drunk. My lips numb Lovely soft fuzz fills my brain.
I remember some comedian’s quip about why so many people become
drug addicts: because drugs are fun. I give Angeli a squishy smile,
trying to form a sentence in my soggy brain, something about how
she’d better not faint because I need her to look after me. Then
Angeli disappears from view. One minute she’s there, and the next,
nothing but wall space and a dull thud.
I turn
woozily to the anesthesiologist. He looks down at the floor, a deep
frown creasing his brow.
woozily to the anesthesiologist. He looks down at the floor, a deep
frown creasing his brow.
“Nola,
we got a fainter!” he yells.
we got a fainter!” he yells.
Panicking,
I realize that this surgery, which is supposed to rid me of the scars
on my neck and chest, boost my confidence, expand my career, and
maybe even jump-start my
love life, isn’t going well. And I haven’t even left the pre-op
room. The last thing that goes through my head is this: I’ve picked
the wrong damn friend.
I realize that this surgery, which is supposed to rid me of the scars
on my neck and chest, boost my confidence, expand my career, and
maybe even jump-start my
love life, isn’t going well. And I haven’t even left the pre-op
room. The last thing that goes through my head is this: I’ve picked
the wrong damn friend.
Medical
errors occur in 17 percent of all hospital procedures. Most of them
are caused by understaffing, fatigue, lack of communication, and
staff error. My best friend caused mine. When it came time to pick my
advocate during surgery, it came down to five people: my sisters,
Trina and Denise; my best friends, Martin and Angeli; and my dad.
Trina was out because I was using her plastic surgeon. She’d spend
all her time agonizing over whether or not to get a quick shot of
Botox instead of looking out for me. My younger sister Denise is too
busy chaining herself to whaling ships and picketing outside the
federal building. Besides, she’d view plastic surgery as
antifeminist, lecturing me on embracing my scars and wearing them
like a badge of courage. My dad, well, surgery would remind him of
the worst night of his life, the night I got the scars. Martin was
busy covering my job at the newspaper.
errors occur in 17 percent of all hospital procedures. Most of them
are caused by understaffing, fatigue, lack of communication, and
staff error. My best friend caused mine. When it came time to pick my
advocate during surgery, it came down to five people: my sisters,
Trina and Denise; my best friends, Martin and Angeli; and my dad.
Trina was out because I was using her plastic surgeon. She’d spend
all her time agonizing over whether or not to get a quick shot of
Botox instead of looking out for me. My younger sister Denise is too
busy chaining herself to whaling ships and picketing outside the
federal building. Besides, she’d view plastic surgery as
antifeminist, lecturing me on embracing my scars and wearing them
like a badge of courage. My dad, well, surgery would remind him of
the worst night of his life, the night I got the scars. Martin was
busy covering my job at the newspaper.
Angeli,
who never mentioned anything about queasiness at the sight of blood,
could easily get someone to cover for her at the Clinique counter at
Nordstrom. She seemed the obvious choice.
who never mentioned anything about queasiness at the sight of blood,
could easily get someone to cover for her at the Clinique counter at
Nordstrom. She seemed the obvious choice.
I
subscribe to the domino theory of life. One bad choice or event
triggers a chain of events that then lead to an explosion in one’s
life. In this case, Angeli was the first tilting tile. Nurse Nola,
who rushed to pick Angeli off the floor, was holding someone else’s
chart. In her haste, she dropped the chart on my bed. Three minutes
later I was wheeled into surgery with another patient’s chart. I
wake up in the recovery room three hours later feeling as if I’ve
fallen off a cliff. It’s not so bad, though, because I’ve landed
in a warm pile of drugs. A wan, tired Angeli is at my side, holding
my hand, smiling in her surprisingly empathetic way. In a chemical
haze, I tilt my head from side to side. The room swims pleasantly as
though I’m underwater. Dimly aware of a faint ache in my chest and
neck, I float above the pain, enjoying my little high. This isn’t
so bad. My surgeon, Dr. Hupta, told me I’d have lots more pain
after the drugs wear off. But then he’ll give me more to take home.
Easy peasy.
subscribe to the domino theory of life. One bad choice or event
triggers a chain of events that then lead to an explosion in one’s
life. In this case, Angeli was the first tilting tile. Nurse Nola,
who rushed to pick Angeli off the floor, was holding someone else’s
chart. In her haste, she dropped the chart on my bed. Three minutes
later I was wheeled into surgery with another patient’s chart. I
wake up in the recovery room three hours later feeling as if I’ve
fallen off a cliff. It’s not so bad, though, because I’ve landed
in a warm pile of drugs. A wan, tired Angeli is at my side, holding
my hand, smiling in her surprisingly empathetic way. In a chemical
haze, I tilt my head from side to side. The room swims pleasantly as
though I’m underwater. Dimly aware of a faint ache in my chest and
neck, I float above the pain, enjoying my little high. This isn’t
so bad. My surgeon, Dr. Hupta, told me I’d have lots more pain
after the drugs wear off. But then he’ll give me more to take home.
Easy peasy.
Across
from me is a teenage girl with bandages covering her cheeks and nose,
sipping from a green juice box. Her mother, in a pink velour jogging
suit, flips through a movie magazine. They watch me as I blink my
eyes woozily, struggling to sit up. Angeli jumps from her chair to
help me.
from me is a teenage girl with bandages covering her cheeks and nose,
sipping from a green juice box. Her mother, in a pink velour jogging
suit, flips through a movie magazine. They watch me as I blink my
eyes woozily, struggling to sit up. Angeli jumps from her chair to
help me.
“Here,
here, I got it.” She presses a button, lifting the bed. As my head
becomes level with hers, she whispers in my ear, nodding at the
teenager. “One guess what she’s in here for.”
here, I got it.” She presses a button, lifting the bed. As my head
becomes level with hers, she whispers in my ear, nodding at the
teenager. “One guess what she’s in here for.”
Before
I can answer, a nurse bustles in, her neon white smile fixed. “Well,
hello there. And how are we feeling after our big day in surgery?”
I can answer, a nurse bustles in, her neon white smile fixed. “Well,
hello there. And how are we feeling after our big day in surgery?”
I try
to say, “Fine.” It comes out, “Fiiiiaaaay.”
to say, “Fine.” It comes out, “Fiiiiaaaay.”
The
nurse takes my pulse, listens to my heart rate, and hands me a juice
box. “We need to get your blood sugar up, or you’ll end up on the
ground like your friend here when you try to walk.”
nurse takes my pulse, listens to my heart rate, and hands me a juice
box. “We need to get your blood sugar up, or you’ll end up on the
ground like your friend here when you try to walk.”
Angeli
rolls her eyes behind the nurse’s back. As soon as she leaves,
Angeli whispers about my roommate. “Nose job. High school
graduation present. Can you imagine? Happy graduation; how’d you
like a new schnoz?”
rolls her eyes behind the nurse’s back. As soon as she leaves,
Angeli whispers about my roommate. “Nose job. High school
graduation present. Can you imagine? Happy graduation; how’d you
like a new schnoz?”
Slowly
I drink my apple juice, my head clearing slightly. “I doubt it went
like that. Nice disappearing act back there.”
I drink my apple juice, my head clearing slightly. “I doubt it went
like that. Nice disappearing act back there.”
She
rolls her eyes and shrugs. “Now you know why I flunked premed.”
rolls her eyes and shrugs. “Now you know why I flunked premed.”
“You
said blood used to make you queasy, not parallel.” I wince as the
pain radiates into my neck and shoulders.
said blood used to make you queasy, not parallel.” I wince as the
pain radiates into my neck and shoulders.
Today I want to welcome Ellyn Oaksmith to the blog! Thank you Ellyn for taking the time to answer a few questions for us 
Ellyn - I love how your husband calls romance books “porn for women.” What did he think about Shades of Grey?
Lily - I believe that Shades of Grey was the book that had he started on the whole ‘porn for women’ thing when one of my friends significant others decided to open to a random place and read it. The challenge was that no matter what page they open it to, there will be a smutty scene.. But let me tell you Ellyn, he has very few chosen words for Shades of Grey and none of them are great lol.
Here we go:
1. Tell us a little about your recent release?
Adventures with Max
and Louise is about a 25 year old girl who gets stuck in the role of
caretaker. Like a lot of women Molly assumes the mothering role when her
own mother dies
and instead of dating and being engaged with life, she stagnates. Even
her career is anonymous — she assumes the identity of Diner X to review
restaurants for a Seattle Newspaper and blog but no one knows who she
is, least of all, herself. In an effort to
move on, she is prompted, by her well-meaning sister, to get plastic
surgery to remove some scars from the past. But there is a mix-up in
surgery and Molly accidentally gets breast implants. And they change her
life.
and Louise is about a 25 year old girl who gets stuck in the role of
caretaker. Like a lot of women Molly assumes the mothering role when her
own mother dies
and instead of dating and being engaged with life, she stagnates. Even
her career is anonymous — she assumes the identity of Diner X to review
restaurants for a Seattle Newspaper and blog but no one knows who she
is, least of all, herself. In an effort to
move on, she is prompted, by her well-meaning sister, to get plastic
surgery to remove some scars from the past. But there is a mix-up in
surgery and Molly accidentally gets breast implants. And they change her
life.
2. How did you first come up with the inspiration to write The Adventures with Max and Louise?
My inspiration for Max and Louise came while I
was driving my old SUV to pick up my preschooler with my baby strapped
her car seat in the back. I was tanned and relaxed after a
cruise in Mexico (which I hated but it was more relaxing than every day
life) and I thought of how good it felt to slip on a dress during the
cruise with my fuller figure. I was nursing, so for the second time (my
1st pregnancy was the 1st) I had curves. I
thought, “Could I ever have breast implants?” My decision was no, after
years of having an athletic, streamlined figure it would be foreign,
like having another personality. Of course in real life this doesn’t
happen to women with implants although some have
increased confidence. The characters of Max and Louise popped into my head at that moment. The book didn’t write itself but the plot sure
did.
was driving my old SUV to pick up my preschooler with my baby strapped
her car seat in the back. I was tanned and relaxed after a
cruise in Mexico (which I hated but it was more relaxing than every day
life) and I thought of how good it felt to slip on a dress during the
cruise with my fuller figure. I was nursing, so for the second time (my
1st pregnancy was the 1st) I had curves. I
thought, “Could I ever have breast implants?” My decision was no, after
years of having an athletic, streamlined figure it would be foreign,
like having another personality. Of course in real life this doesn’t
happen to women with implants although some have
increased confidence. The characters of Max and Louise popped into my head at that moment. The book didn’t write itself but the plot sure
did.
3. Which character did you find easiest to write and why? Do you ever base characters on people you know?
The dad was the easiest because I based him on my dad. My dad is not a
Seattle Police officer but he is the calm in the storm, the person you
call when you have a flat on the interstate (which my husband did within
weeks of meeting me),
the kind of dad when you are blathering on about the great science
fiction idea you have will stop you and say “That doesn’t sound like
something you’d write.” So yes, I totally do. I have a great family so
in some ways, they are all in there. But I don’t
attach their names or tell them. Maybe I should tell my dad. Anything
beautiful and romantic is something my husband would do, if he had time.
Seattle Police officer but he is the calm in the storm, the person you
call when you have a flat on the interstate (which my husband did within
weeks of meeting me),
the kind of dad when you are blathering on about the great science
fiction idea you have will stop you and say “That doesn’t sound like
something you’d write.” So yes, I totally do. I have a great family so
in some ways, they are all in there. But I don’t
attach their names or tell them. Maybe I should tell my dad. Anything
beautiful and romantic is something my husband would do, if he had time.
4. How did it feel to publish your first book?
Like someone let me into Baskins and Robbins and said, “Go for it.
Here’s your mixing bowl, Load it up.” That really happened to me in high
school (no mixing bowl) and my friend
probably should have been fired because she was closing the store. And
don’t tell my kids because that was stealing.
Here’s your mixing bowl, Load it up.” That really happened to me in high
school (no mixing bowl) and my friend
probably should have been fired because she was closing the store. And
don’t tell my kids because that was stealing.
5. What inspired you to become an author?
I really had no choice. It’s like breathing. A therapist once told me
that when I went through a hard time that I’d received a gift. I “acted
in” instead of acting “out” like some
other people who ended up in jail. I went inward and turned things
around until they made sense to me. I do that every day. That, my family
and my faith in God saves me every minute of every day.
that when I went through a hard time that I’d received a gift. I “acted
in” instead of acting “out” like some
other people who ended up in jail. I went inward and turned things
around until they made sense to me. I do that every day. That, my family
and my faith in God saves me every minute of every day.
6. Do your characters ever try to take over your writing?
Do they ever. I know it sounds really weird to people who haven’t
experienced this but it’s the same feeling that a little kid has when
the the devil on their shoulder says, “Steal
that candy bar. It’ll taste good and no one will ever see.” This person
speaks to you and opens a door and if that voice is interesting, you
open the door. If that person has a lot to say and is part of this
family for a reason, you go a little further. Sometimes
it leads to a dead end and you feel like you’ve wasted time. But this
lady named Faye showed up in my mind and changed the plot and theme and
direction of my new book, Divine Moves. She is a God-fearing,
no-nonsense, says what’s on her mind kind of gal. I
want to be more like her.
experienced this but it’s the same feeling that a little kid has when
the the devil on their shoulder says, “Steal
that candy bar. It’ll taste good and no one will ever see.” This person
speaks to you and opens a door and if that voice is interesting, you
open the door. If that person has a lot to say and is part of this
family for a reason, you go a little further. Sometimes
it leads to a dead end and you feel like you’ve wasted time. But this
lady named Faye showed up in my mind and changed the plot and theme and
direction of my new book, Divine Moves. She is a God-fearing,
no-nonsense, says what’s on her mind kind of gal. I
want to be more like her.
7. What is the current book you are reading or the last book you have read?
I am reading (I had to go look it up but I love it) State of Wonder
by Ann Patchett. Anything that woman writes is magic. And Maya Angelou
is my hero too. Both of them are old souls
who have so much to share, so much wisdom. I feel like their
wise-cracking younger sister but that is incredibly presumptuous of me. I
wish.
by Ann Patchett. Anything that woman writes is magic. And Maya Angelou
is my hero too. Both of them are old souls
who have so much to share, so much wisdom. I feel like their
wise-cracking younger sister but that is incredibly presumptuous of me. I
wish.
8. How would you describe your writing style?
What I try for is humor laced with sadness. I’ve tried writing books
that didn’t have any humor. They were awful. I come from a family that
tells jokes and laughs in the most hideously inappropriate places. My
aunt told me hilarious story
at her own husband’s funeral. It was about the corpse and how they
accidentally gave it a tan and put on sunglasses because there was a
miscommunication with the funeral director. Yesterday I was given a
stranger’s medication at the pharmacy and went ahead
and swallowed it before I looked at the bottle. This is my life. Some
parts are really sad but if you don’t laugh, you’re lost.
that didn’t have any humor. They were awful. I come from a family that
tells jokes and laughs in the most hideously inappropriate places. My
aunt told me hilarious story
at her own husband’s funeral. It was about the corpse and how they
accidentally gave it a tan and put on sunglasses because there was a
miscommunication with the funeral director. Yesterday I was given a
stranger’s medication at the pharmacy and went ahead
and swallowed it before I looked at the bottle. This is my life. Some
parts are really sad but if you don’t laugh, you’re lost.
9. Why did you choose the genre you write and what do you like about it?
Okay, I keep jumping ahead to the next question accidentally. I feel
like this genre chose me. I am that girl that gets into the wrong rental
car while on honeymoon and the driver,
who is 20 years older than I am is really pretty happy that this young
blond is sitting next to him. And my husband is in the identical white
car behind us wondering if he should laugh or come get me. Stuff like
this happens to me almost every day. I move
a little too fast in life sometimes. My husband told me on our 17th
Anniversary that being married to me is great but “weird.” I worked on a
fishing boat, went to Smith college. Worked as a screenwriter and met
gobs of famous people. My life is a mash up of
extreme highs and lows. I could really use some normality. Still
waiting for it.
like this genre chose me. I am that girl that gets into the wrong rental
car while on honeymoon and the driver,
who is 20 years older than I am is really pretty happy that this young
blond is sitting next to him. And my husband is in the identical white
car behind us wondering if he should laugh or come get me. Stuff like
this happens to me almost every day. I move
a little too fast in life sometimes. My husband told me on our 17th
Anniversary that being married to me is great but “weird.” I worked on a
fishing boat, went to Smith college. Worked as a screenwriter and met
gobs of famous people. My life is a mash up of
extreme highs and lows. I could really use some normality. Still
waiting for it.
10. What do you ultimately hope people get out of your books?
Honestly, this might sound lightweight because I do cover some heavy
themes, particularly in my new book but I really just want to entertain
people. I want to help them relax and
unwind and forget about the bills, in-laws, exams, whatever it is that
drives them into the arms of a book. I want my book to be their
excellent vacation. That’s really it. They can change their own lives
and control their own destiny. I just want to be the
groovy soundtrack that they listen to along the way. That would be
ideal.
themes, particularly in my new book but I really just want to entertain
people. I want to help them relax and
unwind and forget about the bills, in-laws, exams, whatever it is that
drives them into the arms of a book. I want my book to be their
excellent vacation. That’s really it. They can change their own lives
and control their own destiny. I just want to be the
groovy soundtrack that they listen to along the way. That would be
ideal.
Thank you so much for your time and interest. Happy Reading!
Ellyn Oaksmith
Author Links
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